Julie & Julia__John & Jim

Georgetown Law Weekly Article

2009-10-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

The following article appeared in the Georgetown Law Weekly, the student newspaper for Georgetown Law School, April 10, 2000:

Highly Motivated Law Grad Seeks Position as Ethics Officer

A memo recently distributed to student mailboxes announced that the Law Center is creating a new “ethics officer” position.

As soon as I read about this exciting new position, I immediately thought to myself, “This is the job for me!”

The memo purports the new position will alleviate the burden of the five faculty members who are currently responsible for prosecuting ethical violations. The faculty members don’t like this job, the memo says.

That might be so but nobody likes final exams either and I don’t see the administration doing anything about that. I think I know why this “ethics officer” memo is really getting passed around.

Possibly because our fine school is publicly honoring students at graduation this May hwo have no business receiving a law school degree and the collective administration is saying to themselves, “How the hell did this happen?”

Anyway, I want that ethics officer position. I have some real ideas for the job. And the best part about the ethics officer position is that it will be very, very easy.

I was looking at Appendix I of the memo, “Violation Experience.” The 1994-95 school year stands out in particular – not a single violation that year! And 1997-98 – only three violations. So I will have a lot of time on my hands. This is good because it will give me an opportunity to do creative things with this position.

It has always been my secret dream to go undercover like Johnny Depp in “21 Jumpstreet.” I could do this in first-year legal research and writing classes. I could take out whole small sections at a time. I would brag about my research prowess and how much I’ve already done on an assignment and say, “Who wants to take a look?” And then BAM! I’ve got the entire small section in my sting.

Yeah, I might feel a little bat at first, but that’s the kind of thing a professional ethics officer like me would get over very quickly, particularly with so much free time on my hands to relax and unwind.

But I wouldn’t slouch in my job. No way. During ethical violation lulls, I could help improve life in other ways at the Law Center.

For example, I would organize an Ethics Appreciation Day, distributing buttons that say, “Just say YES to stock fraud and say NO to getting stuck in traffic and handing in take-home exams late!”

Yes, under my ethical regime, as under the current regime, securities law violations would be tacitly, if not out rightly condoned. I would be a compassionate conservative ethical officer. I understand that students need to pay off their loan debts.

The feds? Don’t worry about them; you’ll make so much money you can hire a fancy white collar criminal attorney, preferably one of the faculty (it’s nice to keep it in the family.) Put that guy who taught you evidence to work!

The SEC will be afraid to even glance in your direction. Not like that guy in Texas who posted a phony press release about Lucent’s earnings a couple weeks ago and was promptly jailed on $100,000 bond. That guy obviously didn’t have Georgetown lawyers on his side.

Speaking of Georgetown lawyers, I wouldn’t confine my ethics investigations to students. There are some serious faculty ethics issues that need to be addressed. For example, should a professor continue assigning his federal income tax book that hasn’t been updated since 1980? And is it ethical for a professor to have the student bookstore stock only a hardbook version of his text when the paperback sells for a third of the price?

These are matters, if they are occurring, that I would look into as ethics officer.

But the most important thing I would do as ethics officer is get rid of those nasty final exams. In one simple stroke I would eliminate the potential for all exam-related violations! Hey, it works for Yale.

Like Yale, this would undoubtedly also improve our school ranking. Speaking of which, I don’t want anybody else soliciting me for a class gift on the grounds that it will improve our alumni satisfaction rating and therefore our overall rating. Please!

In my opinion, if the school is so concerned about alumni satisfaction, it shouldn’t cheapen our degrees by giving them to stock frauds. You hear that, U.S. News & World Report?

But if you do give a class gift, I suggest you earmark your gift (you can designate where you want your gift to go but you won’t get the T-shirt) to pay the ethics officer – handsomely – and further condition your gift on me being hired for the position. Trust me, it will be truly the gift that keeps on giving.

My Video Highlighting the Dangers of High Pressure Air Hoses

2009-10-05T12:57:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBmMNEmxbI8

ANTI-SOCIAL PERSONALITY? What, are you psycho?

2009-09-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

OK, man..... What do YOU really know about ANTI-SOCIAL PERSONALITIES? I mean really man. Look, I'd swear like a motherfucker right now but, I DON'T need NOBODY thinking I'm a psychopath, man.

I used to respect people with MANIC-DEPRESSION a whole lot more before they started calling it BIPOLAR (N.O.S. DSM IV or whatever)...high-cycling bipolar, hypo-mania with depressive episodes - yeah, well FUCK YOU. that is a bunch of silliness, man. AND howsa' 'bout BORDERLINE PERSONALITIES? I never met no, wet-blanket borderline that ever did a nice fat LINE. Pour 'em out, chop -chp-chop and rail them baby. RAIL THEM MAN.

Anyway, what I really want to express is the value of being "Anti-Social" -- bah, hhmmph...really. To be crystal (meth) clear with you, knowing a true "Anti-Social" is rather fine, rather fine, indeed. Truly, we are the LIFE of the party...soooo fun and entertaining. You would never know that I'm a phony of emotions - as I express them so candidly and so VERY often. Attractive? Am I attractive you ask? Puh-lease!!! In some many ways, a charming personality and even extremely good=looking in a certain angle and a certain light.....

Why wouldn't you trust me? I am sooo sincere (not sacharine, mind you) and you feel a bit a love for me. No MATTER who you are, when YOU think I actually lowered my defenses and LET YOU get close to me. Women adore me and I DO find it flattering when a man can't help to hold my hand...lingering and longing...after we shake... So fine and just nice, if you understand me.....

My name is Jim Steele.....I AM "Anti-Social" and love life, since giving up ZYPREXA...I'm telling you all of this because I trust YOU and it is a love story, after all.

I have more to say, if you like to hear. No emotion, no remorse, just US having a good time.....

Regards,

Jim Steele

On Scholars pt. 1 - WICINAS

2009-09-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

WICINAS FICTION -- In LOVE with NUMBER 13

2009-09-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

In Love with Number 13

The EMAIL from MADELINE RAVENNA to THE MOOD SWINGER -

"Hi and Hello"

FEBRUARY 24, 2007 - Early on TUESDAY

Hey, Jack, just in case you didn't get the other email...SO GREAT TO SEE YOU!!!!
Keep in touch...I'll run into you when you come back to State College. :) We ALWAYS seem to do so!

AGAPE,
~Maddy

p.s. How did the Psych Eval go?

The EMAIL from THE MOOD SWINGER to MADELINE RAVENNA -

"Fucking Shrinks -- Stupid Peasants"

FEBRUARY 24, 2007 - Later that DAY

My Dearest Maddy,

I must confess that I shall not embroider the facts, even a little, in regards to my Psychiatric Evaluation, at the Western Psychiatric Institute (in Pittsburgh), this past Monday.......

Truth to tell, the whole episode would have appeared to be a complete debacle, by ANY fly on the wall (strange enough to rest in such an "uncivilized" and sterile environment). Really.... So barbaric in "that" place.

As you know, Emma immediately seduced me upon my arrival (the night before Valentine's Day), at good old STATE...... Mad love rekindled and overwhelmed me....I was in a state.....and it was "blockbusters" every day for over a week and a half! So, as you might imagine, the threatening issue at hand was how hot my blood yet burned (in love).... for the Psych Eval. yesterday morning.

Please allow me to digress for a moment.......

I thank you in advance for your attention to detail.....

As a Franklin of sorts, I normally follow my same routine when visiting vapid pedestrians such as "Doctors of Psychiatry." As you know Dearest Maddy, in private, I refer to them as "welders." Such peasants......

I never deviate from my sacrosanct routine:

a. I lie through my teeth for an hour;
b. I procure several prescriptions (some of my choice i.e. "a score" in our book -- others "prescribed" specifically for my supposed ailments);
c. as I exit stage right (at the end of the session), I selectively destroy the malign Rx.'s;
d. I have my choice "meds" filled at Pitt's on-campus pharmacy;
e. I saunter across campus to Hemingway's to wash down an overdose of ativan (via a few flutes of champagne);
f. I visit the WC (of course, in all gentlemanly refinement) and proceed to crush and snort 60 to, perhaps - depending on my consideration of schadenfreude at the moment -90 mg. of addies;
g. I enjoy considerable (and delicious -- if I may add) interlocution with the local junkies and soon to be doomed collegiate drunks before taking my leave;
h. I sit in the 72' Lincoln, marvel in my deviance and savor the Blue Drip......

Hmmmm.....SASSY!

In the past, I would sit in the Lincoln and smoke several Reds as I jotted down all of the lies from my session in a "fictional" journal (Dear Maddy, consistency in manipulation is, well.... oh so important, you know). However, with the advent of electronics, I currently enjoy recording my "therapeutic sessions" via a small (battery driven device) in my left boot. I never need worry about remembering ALL of my anymore..... How grand?

At this point, I find it necessary to apologize to you for the description of my monthly banal need for therapy. Please forgive my error and let us continue, henceforth, with Monday's Psychiatric Evaluation. Upon reflection.....I do suppose the information presented above is relevant.....perhaps I should have simply presented it as a footnote?

As you often stress, my skills as an actor/anti-social personality normally serve me well. However, after chronically/daily blacking out for over a month before hitting State, hopelessly falling in love with Emma on the 14th loving her to the very moment I left, driving for five hours (through a blizzard and in complete silence just to barely make my appointment on time), and feeling a touch of amphetamine psychosis while walking into "that" insane asylum.......well there was no need to "act a bit crazy" in order to "pass" the Psychiatric Evaluation.

I was rather twisted (although, quite winsome) for it by 9:00 on Monday......

Yet, for whatever reason.....

I felt it necessary to play the part of Raskolikov anyway......

As you might expect, my attention span was a bit limited at this time and, if not for the recorder, I honestly could not tell you what this "welder/peasant" said.... that is.... with one exception. I was so bored with his bantering that I finally had to reveal that the "rules of society" do no apply to me. They just don't!

Immediately thereafter, I was informed no "habit-forming" vitamins would be prescribed to ensure my safety and welfare; moreover, an immediate drug screen was necessary, without question. Of course, I agreed this was a stellar plan; I readily took his script to have my blood drawn with great alacrity! As I parted for the on-site lab, I stressed that "I would be right back."

Jerks............

I swaggered out of the facility. Fired up a Red and hit it hard. As my head went light, I burned the script on the street.

I smiled while thinking of my dear Number 13......

I felt really good about my life. I called my PCP. I explained that I needed an urgent appointment because this "new" doctor "scared me" (everyone at his office knows my plight -- I am very pleasant and intelligent -- but... sort of shy/frightened by meeting new people).

Nitwits.......

An hour later, I met my PCP and he documented the "facts" for my file. Thereafter, I had him contact my State/Medical investigator to explain why I simply could not complete my Psychiatric Evaluation that day: "Mr. Winsome, is not comfortable in new environments etc......."
How fucking hilarious is that?

How about.......CRAZE is a "crazy" substance abuser and is not jazzed about the idea of unexpected drug screens....and TODAY would have sucked because he ate morphine EVERY DAY for OVER a WEEK since he arived in "Happy Valley" on February 13th......

As I stressed my state of duress, my PCP found it prudent to "temporarily" double my ativan script AND handed me a baker's dozen of "melt in your melt" clonazapam samples as ell! Yummy.....

Idiots...........

Although I ended up having to pay $9.00 in parking that day, I found this expense to be somewhat acceptable. The entire day was rather amusing, indeed. In a twisted/exhausted state, I fucked the system and scored anyway. Fucking idiots......Why do they determine I need their "help" because of my delusions of grandeur? Why can't they just realize the rules of society DO NOT apply to me? What evidence do they have? None, but I have my Number 13, Man. Fucking Number 13, Man. I love HER, man. My lovely Number 13......Idiots.... I have it all on tape and...

oh sorry - Emma needs me......bye

EMAIL from MADELINE RAVENNA to THE MOOD SWINGER -

"Observation and Memory"

FEBRUARY 24, 2007 - Late that Night

Oh my.

I must say, my dear, that as much as my original note was merely meant to be a quick hi and hello (and to check up on your "welders" appointment, I feel somewhat embarrassed by not going to such literary lengths as you in our communiqué...though also quick to admit I am heretofore inspired to do so given your response, and similarly encouraged to regale you via email, to the manner in which you are inclined (if not accustomed), especially since I was unable to do so during your brief and whirlwind visit. (Oh, the surprise I had planned - well, I did tell you what that was - perhaps next time, if you aren't too gaga with your old flame.) But, no matter, we are on the same page now. That being said, let me now put this next bit as perfectly and sonorously as possible:

---What The Fuck??---

Jack, I see more clearly now how you have morphed into an inspired and civilized collusion of intelligence and insanity. I humbly admire your success in this area, and aspire to it in my own way, which cannot be near as animated and intense as your own, as that just is not how I am wired. You are quite a bit mad, for sure. But how this is really any surprise, I do not know. Given your trajectory, how could you not help to end up exactly where you are - not that its a bad place at all; I am just observing, here....like I did in many years past......

I mean, it is no surprise to me: My fondest memory in your regard is one night in your room (above the hotel? -- you ALWAYS liked living in hotels) where we found ourselves as a quick divergence from the (then) pleasant atmosphere of Z's - some sharing of various pharmies had been offered, and you were in haste to arrange and procure the required items, not the smallest of them being a full length, unframed mirror, which happened to be wedged between a dresser and the door frame.

After a few unsuccessful attempts at dislodging it left you aggravated, you suddenly kicked the thing -- shattering it into infinite glittering shards...the most well-shaped of these you calmly chose for a workspace and sat down to begin crushing the pills...calmly, rationally, as if that sequence of events were the most natural and logical thing in the world. Having not really hung out with you ALONE before, I remember being scared for just a moment, until you looked up from intent absorption in the process to say, in a rather fine and pleasant tone:

"What, WASN'T THAT NORMAL?"

before going right back into looking down again. And a beautiful friendship was born. :)

I look forward to its continuance, after a long hiatus.

AGAPE,

Maddy

1 comments:

Tily said...: Ruthlessly brilliant.; 9/17/09 8:09 PM

I talk about Nutrisystem, Anderson Cooper and the Male Id

2009-08-13T21:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_Q86AeyIQc

I Interact with My Cat and Talk About My Cat

2009-08-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsYp3D5R3Pw

Tily's youtube Video Archive

2009-08-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

Tily talks about dumb people:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0_ejafXvJA

Tily participates in a Town Hall Health Care Meeting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfjhB2PrGZs

Tily gives his 30 second Job Pitch for CNN:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrG1jAjDYQo

Tily Documents the Trip to His Probation Officer and Learns of Failed Drug Test:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlaxRRvCnXE

Tily Reveals His Personal Struggle With Addiction:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi9IjZViOcY

Tily Gratuitously Shoots at Shit in the Woods:

Tily's Lever-action .30-.30 vs. Satellite Dish:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NcXyuc7v4M

Tily shoots his Hi-Point 9mm semi at an Old Sears Radio:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB1pQpPW3uM

Tily Shoots the Shit Out of a Computer Monitor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I9-_2qYXCs

Tily Features His Friend, Dave the Marine, in All His Glory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzCPyzSROgI

Tily Shoots an SKS Assault Rifle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOV1r86APus

Tily Shoots Himself by Accident:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd7O8DsjSt0

Embracing Your Crazy

2009-08-13T19:26:00.001-07:00

First, we live in a medicated society of sheep.

Most people are so caught up in their rat races, that they have lost the forest through the trees.

Call it maybe, a modern "Confederacy of Dunces" in the spirit of Tooele.

Call it maybe "Gonzo Blogging" in the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson.

Call it perhaps, "21st Century Beat" in the spirit of Jack Kerouac.

What's going on here is not new. On that same thought, past is prologue. What might be new is not to simply copy the modern geniuses described above but to present their ideas and hopefully augment them in a new way and in an interactive way. Anybody may post comments here.

So I guess we'll see how it goes.

I have some youtube videos that might be entertaining. My next post will be an annotated list of my youtube videos now available for viewing.

- Tily

Preliminaries

2009-08-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

Jim Tily and John Wicinas will be cooking our way through the Anarchists' Cookbook and our mission will be documented on this blogspot. That's the primary goal of this site.

But we have numerous secondary goals.

All revolve around entertaining you, our internet audience. Whoever you are.

Tily will be posting various rants and adventures that I film with my Camcorder.

We hope that you will enjoy these videos.

We hope that you will show some love to our sponsor ads and click on them.

Wicinas will be doing the all-important literary blogging. He is better at that than me.

We hope you will enjoy his blogging.

Lockpicking 101

2009-08-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of cooking our way through the Anarchist's Cookbook, I have here a video that I created demonstrating how to pick a pin and tumble lock, such as a Masterlock padlock or door lock.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGgqJKl9iSw

Legal Disclaimer - PLEASE READ!

2009-08-09T22:12:00.001-07:00

NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmaster of this site and associated businesses do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational and entertainment purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.